I feel like abortions should bother me more
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
