The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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