So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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