Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
