roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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