Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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