She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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