i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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