Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
