they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
