THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
