You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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