I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
