Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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