Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
