I can text with my tongue
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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