You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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