I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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