I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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