glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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