Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
