I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
