I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
