I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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