Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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