Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
