The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize