Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
