Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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