I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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