You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
