I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
