I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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