I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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