Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
