You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
