I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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