i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
