i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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