We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
