OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
