Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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