I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
