what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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