too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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