just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
