so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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