butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
