What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
