whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
