what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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