I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
