im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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