Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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