I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
