I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
