Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
