i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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