I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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