I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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