Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
