Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize