Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize